Here are a few of things I did :

Find an adult you trust. Think of at least one older person you respect and trust, someone who understands you. It could be a teacher, a coach, a relative, or a neighbor. Make them aware of what is going on in your house. I personally confided in my friends’ parents. They probably already know more then you think they do, or at least in my situation they did. What you are going to tell them will not be as shocking as you think.

Keep a journal. Writing down your feelings and recording the things that happen to you might feel scary at first, but it’s a good way to work through your emotions in this situation.  When I was a kid, I wrote down everything. I had stacks of notebooks. There was a lot of hurt and anger recorded in those books. Just because you write it does not mean you need to share it. Let it be your raw truth.  If you do not find a way to release those emotions it can be very dangerous. It took me 34 years to get the courage to rewrite my stories and share them with all of you.

Stay close to your friends. When you’re experiencing these tough times is when you need your friends the most. You most likely have a small group of friends that you have already confided in. Do not push them away in tough times even though you probably want to crawl in a dark hole till it passes.  My close friends became my family. I look back at my childhood and can not imagine how I would have made it through without the support and love of my friends and their families. These are lifelong friends.

Have a safe place to go. If there were a situation at home and you needed to leave, have a place to go. Talk to the people you confide in and ask them if you called, if things got out of control, could you stay with them? Have that peace of mind in the back of your head that when everything fails or all hell breaks loose, you have a safe place to go.

Always know it is NOT your fault.  Do not feel guilty, do not feel shame, do not feel responsible. You can not control their actions, you can not fix them, you are not going to change them. This is solely on them.

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