In such a daze, I start calling friends looking for help. I do not know what is going to happen with my mother or my stepfather. I needed to find a ride to the police department to get answers. I needed to get out of the house because I did not know if people were going to come and retaliate, or if the cops were going to come back to put me in the system. I had a million things going through my head.

I do not remember how, but I ended up on the phone with a female officer who was at the scene and she was nasty. We were arguing about how things happened and why they ambushed us looking for a gun when there was never a gun. I was arguing with myself, for the most part, being a stubborn mouthy teenager (wait, I’m still that way haha ).

The officer began to “challenge” me in the most unprofessional way. She was yelling at me “if you think your tough come back down here” again, being a teenager, I figured ok what do I have to lose. I grabbed the car keys and headed downstairs to the car.  Just as I started the car my best friend Kelly and her current boyfriend pulled in my driveway and blocked me in.

Kelly got out of the passenger side of the car and began to yell at me. She was telling me to not be stupid, asking what exactly I thought I was going to do when coming face to face with this officer. I didn’t think that far ahead, I just broke down and cried. I didn’t know what to do. After explaining everything that took place to her and her boyfriend, her boyfriend offered to bail my mother out of jail and allow us to pay him back.

I immediately answered No! Why? they asked. I knew my parent’s history. I knew what they did, I knew Dale was not getting out of jail anytime soon, I knew she was going to be a mess. I was not going to borrow money that I could not pay back. One night in lockup would not kill her.

Kelly knew I could not be alone that night and knew I needed a way to get to court the next day. She couldn’t stay because she had to work the next morning. She suggested I call Harley a mutual friend of ours. She said he could stay at the house and bring me to court the next day. So I called him and asked him if he could help me out.

Harley showed up at my house within the hour. When he got there, I remember he had a folded-up paper towel on his head under his hat. I remember asking him what happened, and he said he was running because the cops showed up at the house party and he smashed his head on a bird feeder. I was thinking great so the cops may be back here tonight.

I was explaining to him what happened after Dale and I left the house where the party was, and it dawned on me that my mother had no shoes on and was wearing pajamas when she was arrested. I asked him if he could drive me to the police station so I could bring her clothes and shoes to go in front of the judge the next morning.  We went and dropped the clothes off at the local police station and quietly left.

When I returned home, I still was having panic attacks about what happened. Wondering what I should do. I went back and forth in my head about calling my mother’s sister and her mother. They were the only people I could think of to call. It took everything in me to call them. I knew she was going to be pissed off once she saw them. But what choice did I have, what if she didn’t get bail the next day?

The next morning came and I still hadn’t slept.  Harley and I were the first people at the courthouse and my mother’s sister Lori and her mother Bev showed up shortly after. They had 101 questions that I was in too much of a daze to answer. I was emotionally drained and delirious. I just wanted to get in the courtroom and get this over with.

Dale was called into the courtroom first. The judge asked how do you plead? He responded not guilty. The prosecutor proceeded to state that he was on probation and he had some violations coming to the docket as well.  Bail was set to an extremely high amount and his court date was continued. There was no way he was getting out anytime soon.

Robyn Conroy, charge, assault on a police officer I heard from the front of the courtroom. She came out handcuffed in the clothes I brought her. The judge asked how do you plead? She responded not guilty. Her public defender asked that she be released on a PTA (promise to appear). The bailiff and judge agreed to order the PTA.  I immediately regretted contacting her family, but hindsight is 20/20.

She was released within the hour. She walks out and embraces her family while disregarding me at the same time. I am too tired to really care at this point. She rides home with her sister and mother. Harley and I drive back in her car. When we get to the house they gathered around the table and I immediately go to my room to lay down. Harley asked if he could crash for a little while. I didn’t care I just needed sleep.

I fell asleep for what felt like 5 mins but was a couple hour. I wake up to someone pounding on the front door. I jump up out of bed to answer the door that is all of 3 feet behind my mother. I open the door to two police officers standing there. They ask are you, Desiree? Yes, I answered. My mother gets up and stands behind me saying a few choice words to the point I had to turn around and tell her to stop before she ended up back in jail. The cop handed me a long sheet of paper, he said this is a list of your charges and your court date.

MY CHARGES? COURT DATE? What are you talking about I asked him? He said it is all on the document and he turned to walk away. My heart dropped, I immediately thought I was going to be sick. I shut the door and stared down at a list of felony charges. I had more charges than Dale and my mother combined. I had been charged with conspiracy to all the charges that Dale had plus they were charging me with driving without a license and attempted vehicular homicide!

My mother starts off on a slurring tangent, she sounds very muffled to me. I feel like I am in a fog, this is surreal. This could not be happening. I snap out of it and look up at my mother sitting at the kitchen table with her sister and mother, in the center of the table there is a large bottle of Captain Morgan almost empty and a buffet of pills. They were all different colors, sizes and all unidentifiable.

I woke Harley up and just cried. I was so scared; most people would think I was scared about the charges. I was scared about what was going to come of my life, my mother and my future. 6 hours out of jail without Dale and she was already on a huge downward spiral. Harley told me he would stay with me and help me get through it. He told me not to worry, it was going to be ok.

I knew at that point nothing was going to be ok. I was so angry with Dale for getting us into this situation. I was angry at my mother for being selfish and weak. I was angry with myself for ever calling Dale that night from the bowling alley. I was lost and things were not black and white the way that I needed them to be, there was so much grey, and I could not think logically this way. I was falling apart.


To be continued

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