Weeks had passed by and the pregnancy was not brought up much between Harley and me. I would go to school every morning and I discussed it with friends and expressed my concerns. They all supported me either way but believed I could do it on my own, they also believed that Harley would come around if I chose to keep the baby.
My mother still showed excitement when I did see her which was aggravating as hell to me. I ignored her for the most part. She was so busy running the town with her new boyfriend and settling into his house that I didn’t have to see her very often.
Harley was staying busy running the streets and selling weed, so I didn’t see him very often either. I continued to find myself alone in my thought’s way too often. Maybe that’s what I needed, some quiet from the all the ruckus that was always around, but it was unsettling as that was all I was used to. I would think about my life, the baby and then immediately go to the thought that Harley was still out. Did he get arrested? Was he in the hospital? Who knows, I would wait a little longer before panicking. Then my thoughts would go to my mother. Is she in jail? Is she in the hospital? Does she remember she has a kid? Who knows, I would wait to see her again.
This was my vicious cycle of racing thoughts over and over again, day in and day out. Finally, on Thursday I told Harley I needed to get out and do something. So he said Friday we will go to dinner and grab a movie. Friday rolled along and he was late of course to pick me up, but when he arrived, he seemed a little off. I asked him where he was and he told me he met up with my mother, I honestly can not remember the excuse he gave me of why he went to see her.
Instead of fighting I let it go, we decided to bring one of my best friends with us. So, we got her and headed out to Waterbury to go to the Mall. We get to the mall and walk into Chilis and the first thing he does is ask my friend to order him a drink because she has a fake ID. We order food, he is drinking, and his demeanor is changing as the drinks go down. We end up skipping the movie.
We get in the car and get on the highway and I am staring at him as I feel sick in the pit of my stomach, one of those feelings that something is going to go very wrong. I glance away and glance back and one time I glance back, and he is SLEEPING. I shake him and just in time, he jerks the wheel before hitting a barrier on the highway. I start screaming at him “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” He tells me when he met up with my mom that she gave him a couple of Klonopin and for those who don’t know what this is, it is a sedative used for seizures and massive panic disorders. If you mix this with alcohol you can pretty much die because it slows down your breathing or you can just fall asleep at the wheel and kill everyone. Whichever works for you, I guess. But of course, leave it to my mother to just dispense pills like a candy machine to whoever she feels needs a little help relaxing.
We finally get off the highway, and I breathe a sigh of relief as we are no longer going 65 mph. We pull into a Dunkin Donuts and see the same group of people that He and Dale both got into a fight with just a couple months earlier. One of them comes over to the car window and asked Harley if they could buy an oz of weed from him. I tell him ABSOLUTELY NOT, do not trust these people. He tells me to shut up and not to worry. I told him he was not thinking right and begged him not to do it. He didn’t listen.
I tell him I just want to go back to the room. He sells them the weed and tells me he has to run in and use the bathroom. He empties his pocket and tells me to put his money in my purse. I crinkle it up and put it in my purse. We finally get back to the room and he brings in a six-pack of Heineken and some bags. I go take a shower when I get out, I go to my purse to get something and see the money. For some reason, I took it all out and threw it on the table. I looked at him sitting there drinking and I went to bed furious.
Within a matter of a couple of hours, I hear pounding on the hotel door. I jump up and go to the door and crack it open a little. A herd of cops are at the door, as soon as I cracked the door open, they kicked it in the rest of the way. The doorknob hit me in the stomach, and they stormed in. They ripped everything open and kept calling things off. “Heineken, drinking underage”, “Money” “Minor” “7 LBS OF WEED”. I am panicking, the cops are reading off charges to Harley.
Risk of injury to a minor
Possession with intent
Possession of Alcohol
Possession of paraphernalia
Possession of a controlled substance?????? We both responded with what controlled substance. I thought for sure he had other pills from my mother. The cop responded we have an 8ball of cocaine on the table…… I laugh, that is smart food popcorn there buddy. It was so far from funny, but they were reaching at this point.
They turn to me, where are your parents? Well if that wasn’t a loaded question and one that I asked myself all the time. I responded my mother was staying with her boyfriend, so we got a hotel for the night. He told me I was going to jail for most of the same charges. Harley yelled, she didn’t know anything about it, it is all mine.
We get handcuffed and brought outside, I look down at my mother’s car that we were using and there are cops combing through it. They yell up the car is being impounded for evidence as they found marijuana residue on the windshield. All I could think is she is going to kill me, but this is just as much her fault. She knew what he did, she gave him the pills that lead to some of these results, this is on her as much as anyone else. We get to the police station and they put me in a cell and take him in for questioning. They are trying to reach my mother to come down so they can question me, and they are getting no answer.
They finally call me out, they tell me they can not reach her. They explain that Harley has told them that I knew nothing about it, and they had no reason to believe otherwise since the drugs and everything were stashed away in drawers. I immediately thank god that I took that cash out of my purse. They tell me that they need to reach my mother within the next couple hours or they will need to process me.
Another cop walks in, “I have one question for you he says, who did Harley get the 7lbs of weed from?” How the hell am I supposed to know? Well, he told us that you knew the guy’s name he gets it from……. Well, how would I know that when I didn’t know he had drugs, and if that were the case why isn’t he just telling you who he got it from, he would obviously know who he got it from?
They must have thought I was high or something because they were not very good at twisting things. I sat there and kept my mouth shut staring at the clock and counting down the mins to being processed. About an hour later the cop comes back in and tells me my mother called back and was on her way. I had such mixed emotions, I was so relieved that she was going to get me out of there, I was nervous at the state of mind she would be in when she got there and stressed about having to deal with her.
She showed up and they gave her the rundown, she laughed at me until they got to the part about her car being impounded. She began to talk shit to me, and I bit my tongue in the police department just to hurry things along and get out of there. We left and she smelt like a bottle of vodka. Kenny was driving and not saying much. Then he randomly says well there better not be drugs coming into my house, I quickly and angerly respond, no shit! They are all in the police department.
We get to his house and my mother shows me a room and tells me this is where you can stay. I immediately ask for a phone and start to call people trying to get bail money together. After several calls and a few days, I could not come up with the money but did find out how he got there. The people he sold to that I specifically told him not to had bought from him, followed us and immediately went to the police station and reported us. They had a warrant within hours to raid the room we were in.
My mother and Kenny would say hi in the morning and then be out drinking all day and night. I was not feeling well and made an appointment with a Dr. I went for a checkup and the Dr did an exam and everything looked good psychically, he then just wanted to listen for a heartbeat to be sure. They struggled to find a heartbeat for about 15 mins with no luck. They decided to do an ultrasound. The baby had not grown since the last visit, it was not at target size and still, they could not detect a heartbeat. The Dr tells me to get dressed and meet him in his office. I am crying and getting myself together and I walk across the hall to his office.
He tells me to sit down, he explains that the baby hasn’t grown and there is no heartbeat. He said my body was not responding yet and miscarrying (missed miscarriage is the technical term) and that we would need to schedule a D&C. This is almost the same procedure as an abortion. I was devastated. I had not decided yet even though the smart decision was right Infront of me with the most recent events. I schedule the D&C for a week out.